View source for Brad's Police Statement

POLICE HEADQUARTERS
DENTON
U.S.A.
STATEMENT 

BRADLEY J. MAJORS 

My name is Bradley J. Majors and I have a fiancée called Janet Weiss.  Well, it all started when Ralph Hapschatt and Betty Monroe got hitched.  We went to their wedding in Denton.  Very nice wedding it was.  That was when Janet and I became engaged.  Ralph and Betty had met in Dr. Scott’s classes – and so had Janet and I.  As soon as I spotted Janet I thought “she’s just the little help and support I’m going to need throughout my life”.  Well, Ralph and Betty got engaged and then married before I had the nerve to ask Janet if she would kinda get married to me.  You know what it’s like ? You don’t like to take these things on until you’re sure.  Well anyway, we went to Ralph and Betty’s wedding and after they’d gone off I sort of popped the big question.  Well, in the graveyard actually – you know in front of the billboard.  Anyway Janet got sort of excited and kind of did a bit of a hop and a skip – she gets a bit carried away when she’s excited – and skipped into the church.  I sort of followed her and we went down the aisle.  I suppose, if I hadn’t been so confused by her saying yes I would have noticed something a bit strange about the church since we’d been in there for the wedding, but we were making plans to go and see Dr. Scott – who we hadn’t seen for quite a time – and we kissed and I felt so hot and cold that I just didn’t notice. But I thought about it later and realised that it was a bit odd that, as soon as the wedding was over, there was a coffin in there and the whole place was sort of decorated with black with those weird people cleaning the church.  Funny that I didn’t notice at the time.  Anyway soon after that Janet and I set off to see Dr. Scott in my car.  When we were nearly there we had a puncture.  Well, that was the start of the nightmare.  You see, we’d gone past this castle some way back so we both got out of the car and decided that we’d go back there and ask if we could use their telephone.  It was very wet I remember.  Funnily a bit chilly too.  It was like having a fire hose suddenly turned on us really.  Anyway, we saw a flag flying and we walked up the drive.  I remember saying to Janet at the time it looked like a hunting lodge for rich weirdo’s.  This really strange butler with a hunched back answered the door and let us in.  There was a maid there as well.  She had red hair that flew all over the place and, whilst she was certainly dressed in a maid’s uniform, it somehow didn’t look right.  I felt a bit embarrassed by it actually.  Anyway we followed these two into a big room – which turned to be some kind of ballroom.  It was a very big house you understand.  Anyway this was when it really started getting weird.  Now, this bit is going to be a  bit hard to believe but you’ve gotta believe I’m telling the truth.  I mean I had a very upright honest Christian upbringing and I don’t lie about anything.  No sir.  I never lied to my Mother about whether I’d cleaned behind my ears or not.  There were all those really strange people in there doing a dance.  They were all different shapes and sizes, but sort of dressed the same – only with different colours. They were doing some kind of folk dance.  They might have been high on drugs.  I did think that at the time.  Janet and I backed out of the room.  We thought we wouldn’t disturb them, but just find a telephone and quickly make our call and then go back to the car.  I was just telling Janet this – she was very cold and frightened – when she suddenly screamed.  Real loud it was.  I was about to get angry with her when suddenly this lift arrived.  No, no, it was there all the time, I mean it came down.  I mean someone came out of it.  Janet fainted.  Well, I decided that there was nothing to faint about – there was just this woman getting out of the lift.  Yes, she was about 6’1” but wearing very high heels, a lot of makeup and a shiny black cloak with a silver collar.  She motioned us back in to the ballroom and I thought we could follow her.  When we got there she started talking about being a transvestite.  Now, I don’t keep up with the modern trends that happen in New York and all those big cities and I wasn’t quite sure what a transvestite was.  She swept off her cloak and underneath she was wearing this corset thing and stockings and all of that.  I then realised that she wasn’t a woman, but a man ! Yes, I did get further confirmation of this fact later and I’d rather not go into it, if you don’t mind.  Anyway, I said again that if we could just use the phone then we’d go.  Frank – that was his name – said something about getting some sort of mechanic for us, but said we had to go to his laboratory first.  Well, I thought, we may as well play along and at the first opportunity we could pull out the aces and make a getaway.  No, it wasn’t a gambling den.  No, I didn’t have a pack of cards with me.  No, no, I’ve never gambled.  Yes, I am quite sure.  Gambling is evil.  My mother told me.
Well, there was this other chick there.  I think her name was Columbine ? No, Columbia.  That’s it – Columbia.  The butler’s name was Riff Raff and the maid was called Madge I think.  Anyway they stripped off all our clothes down to our underwear.  I had my shorts on and Janet had her brassiere and half slip and so on.  Janet was very scared, but I attempted to reassure her and she seemed to be relieved I thought.  Anyway we went up to this laboratory.  It wasn’t like Dr. Scott’s at Denton High School.  It had all those weird machines and was pink and had statues.  That was where the first death occurred.  This guy suddenly bust out of a big red door on a Harley and started singing this song.  I think the blond guy had appeared by then.  No, he didn’t come up in the lift – he came out of this coloured tank after a lot of light had been switched on and off.  I guess he’d been having a snooze.  You’d certainly wake up after all that light and noise of those strange people.  Anyway, this guy who burst out on the Harley sang his song.  I held his sax for a while he was singing.  Good voice.  About half way through the song and a bit of a dance around with Col I noticed that Frank was getting a bit edgy.  Hullo, I thought, trouble here.  I had no idea of just how much trouble there would be.  When this guy – whose name was Eddie – had finished, Frank drove him back into the freezer and there hacked him to death – God rest his soul.  I would have thought he could have made a lot of money as a singer.  This blond guy – who never said a word – started rattling the lift.  No, I can’t remember how he got into the lift.  Anyway Frank got very concerned about his being frightened and kept telling him he was beautiful.  He wasn’t a bad looking guy – but I wouldn’t have called him beautiful. I think his name was Rock – you know like Rock Hudson.  Frank called him Rocky as a kind of pet name I guess.  Anyway, after that there was this wedding.  No, it wasn’t in a church.  It wasn’t at all like Ralph and Betty’s wedding.  No there wasn’t a minister – although I thought that Frank looked a bit like the preacher at Denton.  Anyway they walked down the aisle together and everyone threw rose petals and a few people cried.  It was quite nice I suppose.  They went into this black room which was covered all in satin.  Janet was very scared through all this.  No, I don’t know what they did in the black room.  I didn’t think it was my business.  Well, Janet and I went off down all these corridors and things and where shown to our bedroom.  One each.  Even if we hadn’t been given a room each, I would have insisted on it.  You’ve got to do the right thing.  A few things went on during the night.  No, I’d rather not talk about it.  No, I can’t remember.  Yes, I think someone did come into my room.  No, I’ve got no idea who it was.  I was asleep at the time.  There were a few disturbances after that and then we all traipsed down to the laboratory again.  Up actually.  Yes, I went up in the lift.  Janet was there in the tank.  No, she was alone.  There was no-one with her.  I’ve no idea what she was doing there.  I guess she wanted a bath.  Well, I suppose she couldn’t find the bathroom ! Ask her ! Suddenly Dr. Scott arrived.  Well, through a wall actually.  No, we didn’t know he was going to be there.  I had no idea what he was doing there although it was subsequently revealed that Eddie was his nephew.  I suppose he wanted to know where he was.  Frank got very angry.  I don’t remember anything after that.  Oh yes, we did have dinner at some point.  No I feel ill when I think about it. I didn’t eat anything.  At least not very much.  I’ll be sick if you keep asking me about it.  The next thing I remember was being in a swimming pool.  No, I’ve no idea how I got there.  I tell you I can’t remember.  He put us to sleep and I really didn’t wake up again until after the explosion.  Yes, I did have a nice swim.  It was warm – it was beautiful really.  What ? Oh yes, there was a lot of smoke.  The butler – Riff and Madge came in.  Janet was really scared then.  They had this gun.  Scotty, Janet and I stuck together, but they shot Rock and Frank.  We were told to leave so we did.  They said something about another planet.  Anyway there was this big explosion.  No, I’ve nothing more to say. 

               Bradley J. Majors
Signed ....................................................................................